Saturday, August 28, 2010

Finding Treasures in Old Journals

I am reading my old journals: smiling, weeping, pondering, wondering--tearing them up and throwing them away, saving certain pieces. After all, when you are a writer who lives in community you must be careful. No one lives forever; I could die and some fool might come along and try to publish my journals. I guess I like to be in charge. This morning I came across a quote I had written in my journal from one of my shining lights who died a few years ago, Sister Jose Hobday. This quote is worth sharing. I'm kind of glad she didn't tear it up and throw it away: Here is what she says:

Today only one thing must be accomplished.
I must move through the hours with more quality
and meet people with more love
and diminish my own personal selfishness...
when I go to bed tonite let there be
more light in this world because
I have walked the earth
Let there be more people aware that they are
gift and blessing and goodness.
Let me understand that all there is to life
is what I'm really living with quality.
the rest passes me by unnoticed.
--Sister Jose Hobday
Amen to that dear sister who is now
helping to light up the heavens
with your own vibrant life!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Each road has a voice

The Road
Here is the road: the light
comes and goes then returns
Be gentle with your fellow travelers
as they move through
the world of stone and stars
whirling with you
yet everyone alone.
The road waits
Do not ask questions
but when it invites you
to dance at daybreak
say YES.
Each step is a journey;
a single note the song.
--Arlene Gay Levine
taken from Bless the Day
ed. by June Cotner

I don't know what your road looks like these days but never pass up an invitation to dance at dawn. Don't worry about what your neighbors think. If they are lucky enough to see you, they may even smile. Dawn is difficult for some people; that I know! But if you can give up a bit of your uncertainty about morning, maybe even the untruth that you don't like morning you may be in for a great awakening. And even if you don't like morning, think about the road. Each road has a voice and it's waiting for you.

Monday, August 9, 2010

What Light Can Do

The poet, Lucy Shaw, offers us a little gospel when she says: "Light can make even dirt blossom." I will hang on to her piece of truth as I embrace both the light and darkness of today.

I went outside chasing the light this morning and it was just the medicine I needed to bring me back to my writer's altar. Having been FOUND BY LIGHT I am now making a choice to have a good day. All day, even in my writer-block moments I will try to remember the light, suggesting that if you should get stuck in any sort of negativity today you might consider going out and standing in the light.

I am not the only creature who was found by light today. Pray with the sacramentality of the image below and rejoice in everything and everyone that will be FOUND BY LIGHT today.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A Cave of Quiet

There is no doubt in my mind that I am not called to the life of a hermit but I am looking for a cave of quiet. The little collage above I created for an on-line class that I signed up for in a moment of holy insanity. It depicts my desire to return to the monk and the artist in me. I need only gaze upoon it, to experience a quieting within.

Why it is so difficult to get my deepest desires to hold hands with my distractions is somewhat of an enigma. I suffer from and am blessed with creative distraction, often known as ADHD.

People seem surprised to learn that even with my ADHD nature I am so drawn to the prayer of quiet. "Are you able to sit still when you meditate?" they ask me. My answer to that question is, "Yes, I am able to be very still.!" Once I arrive at my place of prayer I actually feel at home. But you see, my difficulty is not sitting still; my struggle is with what happens "on the way to the cushion." On the way to the cushion can be anguish. Still, I choose to call it creative distraction because in those moments of disruption some very exciting and beautiful things occur. Things that were not on my schedule or my "to do" list suddenly become little miracles of grace. New ideas arrive.

Truly, it is both a suffering and a blessing. For years I beat myself up because there were no stop signs on the way to the cushion and yet I stopped. Now I am trying to be more gentle with the stops along the way because you see my goal is not really getting to the cushion. My goal, if there is such a creature, is being present to all that IS. My desire is to rest in the Holy Mystery and sometimes that happens before I arrive at the cushion. What I want is to be utterly present to every moment. What I want is to be Christ!

It is true that on the days I actually arrive at the cushion I often weep. But I am not sad! When I look at the picture above I weep. But I am not sad. My tears know more than I do. That's why I listen .