O Lamp of God Gone Out

No matter how much we cry out to God, "Be thou my vision..." there are times when it will seem as though our lamp has gone out.  Any kind of vision that we hoped would light our way has fled and we are left with a troubled heart.

Even in these moments we can find a voice for prayer.  Even if it is a sad and lonely prayer, let us dare to let God hear our voice.

O Lamp of God Gone Out  ~   Where art thou?

Once there was a sweet innocence that lived in the garden of my heart and you 
were my Epiphany Star; you were my clarity, amazing gift of my life.   Your  presence was obvious in the pages of each day.  Reflecting on our original relationship I perceive that it was vibrant and alive with possibilities and meaning.   I remember  how you  helped me claim my authentic spirit.  From childhood days I had such a longing for authenticity  and you were my coach, my star, my gate, my lean-to.

Give me back the sweet innocence of childhood along with the gifted wisdom of my maturing years.  I am firm in my resolution that you are still the Lamp of my Life and I boldly ask you to shine through the stark and seeming barren branches of my life--all the way through to the Epiphany Star that is still shining  in the core of my being.
                                                                                                                                                                                                     Amen from Macrina

BE THOU MY VISION

The word I have chosen for January is VISION. It seems like a good word for a new year.  Even though you may have chosen a different word for this month I offer you this rich word for your prayer.  "Where there is no vision, we are told in Proverbs, the people perish." (29:18)  So just what does the word, vision, mean to you?   First of all, it is considerably deeper than a plan.  Anyone can make a plan; not everyone when making a plan will invite vision to be a companion in the planning.

The first thing to do is to get out your piercing, penetrating eyes (your far-seeing eyes) and become very still.  Wait!  Listen! Look! Rest in the unknowings of the moment!  Close your eyes so that all distractions may more likely disappear and help you get in touch with your inner seeing, that is...your insight. All of this is prayer.   You allow God to pray in you.  After a brief quiet time you might ask yourself a few questions.

• What is my vision for this day?  If I borrow God's far-seeing eyes and look into this day, how would I like to see myself living? [this need not involve a long list, which is often detrimental to faithfulness; perhaps my vision for this day could simply be to live awake (aware).]
• How can I live each day with less plans and more vision?
• Do I have a spiritual vision for the path of 2014?  Am I willing to use my far-seeing eyes to discern what areas of my life are in need of transformation? 

One of the things I am doing this year in an attempt to awaken the vision that I so often allow to sleep in my soul is this:

Before retiring I ask myself a question,  What is your vision for tomorrow?  After a few moments of silent listening, I write in my journal one or two of my dreams for the next day.  Amazing how a little exercise like this can help me stay on the path, awake!

I am also trying to allow everyday theophanies (God-Showings) to speak to me about VISION for my personal life.  E.G. I am walking along and come upon a young green shoot sprouting out of a dead branch.  I pause and allow this ICON to speak to me about my personal life.  What is my vision about the things in my life that seem to be dead but in reality are not.

Another example is this:  I see a Sister in my community doing something really kind for another Sister.  That is a 'God-Showing' and as I let this beautiful vision cleanse me, I call upon my far-seeing eyes to discern what I might do for someone.  It happens every day.  I am jarred out of my sleepwalking.  I awaken to a vision of something more that is waiting for me.

Is it too late to wish you a Happy New Year? 

 Of course not!  

We have 11 months and 18 days of 2014 left.

 That's enough time for you to do a tremendous amount of good and have an exorbitant  number of visions.  

Thank you for the blessing that you are in our world!

Happy New Year!

Happy Feast of Epiphany

 And suddenly the star they had seen rising    went forward and halted 

over the place where the child was.

The sight of the star filled them with delight.

Matthew 2:9-10

How often the sight of a star fills us with delight.  It is awesome to stand outside and behold a star-studded night.  The stars, it seems, have always called us to greatness.  They stir up  within us a sense of mystery.  Poets write and sing about the stars.  Artists paint them

We are told to follow our star.  And yet, for all our romanticizing about the stars, if the truth be known, they sometimes lead us to places we would rather not go.  A star marks our path with light and guides us to deeper insight.  With that deeper kind of seeing comes new responsibilities.  It is not always easy to follow a star.

Long ago three who have been called wise journeyed to the small, insignificant town of Bethlehem.  They followed a star that led them to the powerlessness of God lying in a manger.  It was the last place on earth one would expect to find the Creator of the stars, yet that is where those beams did shine.  We call such a moment an Epiphany.  An Epiphany is a manifestation of the Divine Presence right in the midst of daily life.

Those who have tried to follow the Creator of the stars often find themselves in the midst of an Epiphany. They are called to follow stars that seem beyond their reach.  ...   And what about you?  What is your current Epiphany?  Where is your sky all shining with stars?  And which stars are calling you?

Creator of the Stars~~God of Epiphanies

You are the Great Star

You have marked my path with light

You have filled my sky with stars

naming each star and guiding it

until it shines into my heart

awakening me to deeper seeing

new revelations 

and brighter epiphanies.

O Infinite Star Giver

I now ask for wisdom and courage

to follow these stars

for their names are many

and my heart is fearful.

They shine on me wherever I go:

The Star of Hope

The Star of Mercy and Compassion

The Star of Justice and Peace

The Star of Tenderness and Love

The Star of Suffering

The Star of Joy

And every time I feel the shine

I am called

to follow it

to sing it

to live it

all the way to cross

and beyond

O Creator of the Stars

You have become within me

an unending Epiphany.

--Macrina Wiederkehr

taken from SEASONS OF YOUR HEART

Epiphany

The practice of choosing a word for the year has replaced my former practice of making new year’s resolutions.   I would like for my life to be an Epiphany this year: a manifestation of goodness and light, grace and joy, gratitude and grief.  I want to be open to Epiphanies and Theophanies.  These are God-Showings, moments when an awareness of the Holy Mystery breaks into my life.  You may be surprised that I included grief as a God-Showing.  I have found much grace in grief because it brings me face to face with my vulnerability.  Grief is not an enemy; it reminds me that I have the potential to love and be loved.  When something or someone I loved has been taken away from me it doesn't mean that my life is over; it just means that I have to figure out how to go on with grace and sometimes it takes a while.

I'll take the star as a guide and I’ll try to open my eyes a little wider each day.  I will watch myself live. Not quite the same as a resolution!  I am not saying that I resolve to do this, but I am saying with a certain amount of passion: this is the way I would like to live—open and awake to God-Showings...even if I don't always like the "showing."  I do want to see the truth.

I want to live my life with greater integrity and for me that means living with my eyes open.  It also means I need to reflect on how, sometimes,  I live with closed eyes.   For the new year I have a sign posted on my bulletin board that says, " Open your eyes and watch yourself live." That's scarier than any resolution I ever made.

This year I plan to spend time praying with the gospels about Jesus healing the blind.  The first gospel I've chosen is Mark 8:22-26.  I chose it because Jesus had to lay his hands on the blind man twice before he could really see clearly.  That is definitely the story of my life.  One time just isn't enough.  I am a slow learner; I have to be taught again and again and again.  The hopeful and helpful thing that I know about myself is that I am willing to be taught.

My motto for the year is: Nothing has to be a problem unless I make it a problem.  
My word for 2014 is  Epiphany.  My word for January is Vision.  Those of you who have my 2014 calendar will notice I have given you one word to pray each month.  For those of you who do not have the calendar I will be posting the new word at the beginning of each month.  We can live it together.

Advent, a good time to go to God

AND GOD SAYS:

“I keep calling to you but you do not come.” 

I couldn't until I was sure there was nowhere else to go.

Florida Scott Maxwell

I totally relate to the quote above.  First of all, let me say this:  turning to God does not necessarily mean that I’ve been away from God.  God surrounds me like the air I breathe.  God is the Source of my life and all life and I can’t really get away from the Mystery of that Amazing Presence.   I can, however, move through my days as though everything depends on me.  I can wear myself out because I forget to remember to breathe.  Well, of course I breathe whether I remember that I am breathing or not but it is so much more enriching when I can truly be in the breathing.  

  

Imagine that you live your life beside a flowing stream; the water is always moving.  The stream provides a kind of natural music for your soul.  The sun rises and sets.  The seasons pass over the flowing stream.  Plants grow. Birds sing and drink and play in the waters.  Only you~~you never seem to come. 

What healing presences are you missing in your life right now simply because you don’t hear them calling to you?  What are you missing because you are rushing around doing important things?  These are good questions.  In some way God is always calling us deeper into the mystery of life, calling us to the Source.   To hear this call we have to stop.  We will not be able to hear the call ‘on the run’ unless we also learn to stop.  To rest!  To be!  To linger!  To dwell!  To enjoy!  To see!  To hear!  To abide!

God is somewhat like that stream and concerning the quote above, perhaps there are times when we don't go to God because we don't know what to say.  Or perhaps there are times when we don’t go to God because we think we don’t have time.    I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Words are the least important part of prayer; we don't need a lot of words to pray.  We just need a lot of presence and mindfulness.

The season of Advent can assist us in remembering that we have nowhere else to go except to the stream of living water.  Let the sunrise of God’s Presence shine on you during this holy season.  Get out your hopeful heart. 

Put your feet in the stream

 of living waters and 

wait for God.  

O Source of all Life, a prayer

O Source of all Life,

as once you looked with compassion

on the weary crowds

who seemed lost and without a shepherd, 

look again upon your people

so desperately in need of renewal. 

Send your spirit to  blow over our dead bones

resurrect in us a surprising new life. 

Blow away negative thoughts,

replace them with hopeful dreams. 

Blow away critical thoughts;

replace them with affirming words.  

Blow away busyness;

replace it with a desire

to take more time

for building a rich interior life.

 Blow away anxiety;

replace it with trust.  

Blow away indifference;

replace it with love.  

O Breath of God,

 transform our unconscious way of living

into a vibrant, enlivening way

of being in this world.

©Macrina Wiederkehr, OSB

In Praise of WONDER

This poem by  Czeslaw Milosz  invites me into the grace of WONDER.  Read it slowly and think of some thing in your past that filled you with wonder.  

Encounter 

We were riding through frozen fields in a wagon at dawn.

A red wing rose in the darkness. 

And suddenly a hare ran across the road.

One of us pointed to it with his hand. 

That was long ago. Today neither of them is alive,

Not the hare, nor the man who made the gesture. 

O my love, where are they, where are they going?

The flash of a hand, streak of movement, rustle of pebbles.

I ask not out of sorrow, but in wonder.

~ Czeslaw Milosz ~

The flower above is one of my memories.  It, too, no longer exists in the way I once beheld it.  It does, however, still exist in my mind, in my memory.  Its visit once filled me with wonder.
 
As we reflect on some of the gifts of the past and the WONDER they brought into our lives we might also reflect on the importance of living mindfully.  There are many people who wouldn't give a 2nd thought to the things that the poet is so lovingly remembering.   Remembering is important.  Mindfulness is important.  We can choose how alive with wonder we are.   Right now, today, make plans to choose wonder.