Sun's Wordless Voice

Amazing how the sun

can speak through trees!

Telling thousands of stories

with one earthward glance!

Stand still today and see what must be seen

Let the shadows hold your heart

All this is the illuminating

face of God!

All this is prayer!

And you?

Whoever you are,

How are you spoken through?

This, too, is prayer!

--macrina

Move into your House of Joy

Today is the feast of Pentecost and since the Spirit has most likely fallen upon us--oh, I hope that each of us will find some time to just sit quietly and take it all in: the awesome truth that we have been chosen to breathe the Holy Mystery into the world, that we have been called to let the fire of God burn into our fragile clay and teach us how to shine.

To say what I really want to say I will borrow some words from the mystical poet, Rumi:

If you knew yourself for even one moment
If you could just glimpse your beautiful soul,
maybe you wouldn’t slumber so deeply
in that house of clay.
Why not move into your house of joy
~~and shine into every crevice!
For you are a treasure and always have been.
DIDN’T YOU KNOW?

--Rumi, slightly tampered with by Macrina

Being Chosen

The cave pictured here is a shrine of St. Benedict on our monastery grounds. The season of spring gave the shrine a special charm this year as Benedict seemed to be walled in by Forsythia. If you are going to spend your life in a cave, that is a mighty nice door. I have been meditating on Benedict’s life in the cave of Subiaco, Italy for some time now, meaning that I am still trying to discern how to be who I say I am, a monastic, a Benedictine. My personal prayer, these days, has been almost entirely given over to praying the rule in light of my own faithfulness to it. Sometimes I find it helpful to remain with a specific theme for a long time.

The two themes that have chosen me recently are simplicity and silence. I had no intention of choosing either of these topics when I begin to listen to Benedict in the rule (and in the cave); but they chose me. Simplicity chose me first so I will dwell on that. Living a life of simplicity does not necessarily mean living a life of destitution. Recently simplicity has asked me to be obedient to the things, people, events that surround me rather than looking for my needs/wants in a thousand other places. And so I am trying to attend what is nearby. I am trying to be more aware. I am looking with the eyes of my soul; but it is still difficult especially when it comes to people: fellow monks, sister monks. Whatever! --meaning of course, my monastic community! A quote from a spiritual letter from the early 20th century nourished me today. I eat anything I can find these days, as long as it is nearby. I did not go out and buy this book. I didn’t even go to the city library. It just sort of fell on top of me. Ah, it chose me!

“I charge you to release yourselves from the last strain
of materialism for then only are you protected; I charge
you to be forgiving and patient with all persons whether
they be stupid, melancholy or evil and to keep your
face always uplifted to the highest intent, for this,
above all, releases your life from all violence;
I charge you to live in faith, for this will give you
a splendor, a light which will be manifest to all the
bewildered, the lonely, the harassed—a beacon in
the storm. Stand to your full stature, for I bear witness
that eternal love can be reached.”

-Letters of the Scattered Brotherhood

Well! For someone who lives in community that sounds like a sweet challenge. And so I will give it an honest try. I really do believe that we are found by grace each day. I intend to practice noticing being found. ...more later!

Benedictine Renewal

In the summer of 2008 I enjoyed the immense blessing of being able to attend a month-long Benedictine Renewal program in Rome. One of the highlights of my trip was the opportunity to visit the Benedictine shrines in the area.

While I was in the cave of St. Benedict in Subiaco I was drawn to write a prayer to Benedict and Scholastica. Because my last post addresses my desire to renew, in my life, all that it means to be a Benedictine I am drawn now to share with you the prayer I wrote in Benedict's cave in Italy.

Holy Father Benedict,
I, too, taste the emptiness
from which you turned aside.
I, too, feel drawn to deeper places.
Your ancient desire
to be anchored in God Alone
sings in the marrow of my bones.
Your holy discontent
led you to a sacred cave
where you could listen intensely
to the One who was listening to you.
Teach me the art of deep listening.
Lead me to my own sacred space.
Intensify my longing for silence.
Make me hungry for
the medicine of God’s Word.
Open the ears of my heart.
Transform me into a sacro speco.

Holy Mother Scholastica,
May the love that drew
tears from your eyes
prime the well of my own love.
Instill in me a great yearning
for frequent holy conversation
with members of my community.

Benedict and Scholastica,
twin lovers of Christ,
Enable us, your disciples,
to blossom with fidelity
to the monastic way of life.
Make our hearts overflow
with the unspeakable
sweetness of love
that we may prefer
nothing whatever to Christ.

—Macrina Wiederkehr, OSB, June 12, 2008
Sacro Speco, Subiaco, Italy

The Boat I Travel in

Recently someone asked me why I was carrying the Holy Rule around so much and I said, "Well, you see, I'd really like to be a Benedictine." The one who had questioned me looked surprised and said, "But you are a Benedictine!" I just smiled and later when I was at prayer I thought a long time about that funny little conversation that ended so unfinished. Then I remembered a meditation I wrote for my Jubilee last summer. I borrowed the idea from Balbir Mathur from a reflection called Planting One Tree at a Time that I found in Heron Dance. I read my meditation once again with that same haunting longing to really become a Benedictine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boat I travel in is called Monastic Life. My two chief oars are named for what I most need to keep me faithful to the monastic way of life. One of my oars is called: Seeking God. The other is called, Giving up My Own Will. There are other oars that I keep ready at my side, close at hand, lest I have a sudden inner conversion that requires some quick changes in my course. These oars are Loving Determination (in monastic language—better known as Stability), Radical Simplicity, Prayer, Obedience, the Common Life (also known as Community), Peace, Christ, the Spirit of St. Benedict, Gospel Values and Flawed Love. I know that Flawed Love sounds like a strange oar to cherish, yet it is the only love I have known and I have discovered even love with flaws has amazing powers, and who knows? … as I travel on in my monastic boat with my little oar of Flawed Love some day it may miraculously be transformed into the unfeigned love that I am asked to strive for in Chapter 72 of the Rule.

There are a few other oars laying around in the back of my boat. The fact that they are in the back by no means implies they are unimportant. They, too, are in ready reach. They are very necessary tools for my monastic journey. Their names are Bright Joy, Wonder, Beauty, Mindfulness, Creativity, Passion, Deep Listening, and Extravagant Yearning.

I have been in this boat for fifty years and sometimes I ache at how far away I seem to be from the Shore of my Longing and from that wild, pure, passionate light that we call Everlasting Life (which could be a kind of heaven on earth) but for the most part I am good at forgiving myself and others—so I’ll row on with my spare oars of Courage and Patience seeking God and trying to give up my own will.

Tiptoeing Around the Truth

This morning I heard myself saying,

“It’s time for me to stop tiptoeing around the truth

in my personal life, in my work relationships and beyond.”

Well, that’s easy to say

but what do I really mean when I speak those words?
And so, my morning meditation

was filled with thoughts about

how to be truthful without being haughty
how to be truthful without sounding self-righteous
how to be truthful without blaming
how to be truthful without false expectations
how to be truthful without being harsh
how to be truthful without being insensitive
how to be truthful with myself

Words from an old song or poem keep moving through my mind:
“And you bring me down with truth

when lies have filled my life.”

Thus as my meditation continued

I decided to begin with an attempt

to stop tiptoeing around the truth

in regard to my personal life.

Oh My! Lord, please don’t speak very loud.

Some wonderful words

from Dom Helder Camara come to my rescue.
After so many years, what joy

to find these words still in the archive of my heart:

"Do not fear the truth
hard as it may appear;
grievously as it may hurt
it is still right
and you were born for it.
If you go out to meet
and love it,
let it exercise your mind,
it is your best friend
and closest sister."

-Dom Helder Camara

Labyrinth Liturgy

April 17, 2010 -- This was a wonderful day. We had a labyrinth clean up day and accomplished much. Actually it was a liturgical celebration even if our workers weren't aware of that. Although today the word LITURGY is commonly understood as a worship that happens in church. In ancient times it had a broader meaning. A liturgy is a work done by the people for the good of all the people of God. Yesterday was truly a liturgy. Everyone did their part even if they couldn't be working on the labyrinth.

Dee, Mike and Julie brought pine needles, Sister Hilary brought food. Sister Pat washed off the tables for our picnic. Others prayed for us. Some have promised to donate supplies for upkeep of the labyrinth, others promised assistance with watering. Our infirmary Sisters looked out of the window and cheered us on. In beautifying our labyrinth we were performing this liturgy for our retreatants and guests. Clara Jane, Lisa, Karin, and Linda who assist in taking care of the labyrinth gardens on a regular basis couldn't be there but we did see the fruits of their liturgical service and we added our own love to their flower beds which belong to us all. Oh, and lest I forget: Sr. Pat and our cat, Toby, spend a little time weeding many evenings.

The labyrinth is a wonderful prayer walk for our often over-stressed hearts. I especially like the fact that it slows us down. We walk into the center slowly releasing the obstacles in our lives asking questions like: What prevents me from forgiving? Where do I need to loosen my grip? What blocks my heart? What do I need to release? Our walk into the center is a walk of RELEASE.

When we arrive in the Center we open our hearts and stand with attention to RECEIVE. We accept the gift of the graces we need to be a living liturgy in the lives of others. We trust that all shall come to pass as is needed for the good of our souls. We see our lives unfolding as flowers opening. We yearn to be a part of the healing of the wounds of the world.

The walk out of the labyrinth is a RETURN to our daily tasks knowing that faith has touched us in the areas of our greatest needs. We return with faith. We own the beautiful truth of our lives unfolding as a daily liturgical service.

RELEASE ~~~RECEIVE~~~RETURN!

To those of you who helped

and to those who will help in the future,

we have tattoed THANK YOU

on our hearts.