Happy Feast of Epiphany

 And suddenly the star they had seen rising    went forward and halted 

over the place where the child was.

The sight of the star filled them with delight.

Matthew 2:9-10

How often the sight of a star fills us with delight.  It is awesome to stand outside and behold a star-studded night.  The stars, it seems, have always called us to greatness.  They stir up  within us a sense of mystery.  Poets write and sing about the stars.  Artists paint them

We are told to follow our star.  And yet, for all our romanticizing about the stars, if the truth be known, they sometimes lead us to places we would rather not go.  A star marks our path with light and guides us to deeper insight.  With that deeper kind of seeing comes new responsibilities.  It is not always easy to follow a star.

Long ago three who have been called wise journeyed to the small, insignificant town of Bethlehem.  They followed a star that led them to the powerlessness of God lying in a manger.  It was the last place on earth one would expect to find the Creator of the stars, yet that is where those beams did shine.  We call such a moment an Epiphany.  An Epiphany is a manifestation of the Divine Presence right in the midst of daily life.

Those who have tried to follow the Creator of the stars often find themselves in the midst of an Epiphany. They are called to follow stars that seem beyond their reach.  ...   And what about you?  What is your current Epiphany?  Where is your sky all shining with stars?  And which stars are calling you?

Creator of the Stars~~God of Epiphanies

You are the Great Star

You have marked my path with light

You have filled my sky with stars

naming each star and guiding it

until it shines into my heart

awakening me to deeper seeing

new revelations 

and brighter epiphanies.

O Infinite Star Giver

I now ask for wisdom and courage

to follow these stars

for their names are many

and my heart is fearful.

They shine on me wherever I go:

The Star of Hope

The Star of Mercy and Compassion

The Star of Justice and Peace

The Star of Tenderness and Love

The Star of Suffering

The Star of Joy

And every time I feel the shine

I am called

to follow it

to sing it

to live it

all the way to cross

and beyond

O Creator of the Stars

You have become within me

an unending Epiphany.

--Macrina Wiederkehr

taken from SEASONS OF YOUR HEART

Epiphany

The practice of choosing a word for the year has replaced my former practice of making new year’s resolutions.   I would like for my life to be an Epiphany this year: a manifestation of goodness and light, grace and joy, gratitude and grief.  I want to be open to Epiphanies and Theophanies.  These are God-Showings, moments when an awareness of the Holy Mystery breaks into my life.  You may be surprised that I included grief as a God-Showing.  I have found much grace in grief because it brings me face to face with my vulnerability.  Grief is not an enemy; it reminds me that I have the potential to love and be loved.  When something or someone I loved has been taken away from me it doesn't mean that my life is over; it just means that I have to figure out how to go on with grace and sometimes it takes a while.

I'll take the star as a guide and I’ll try to open my eyes a little wider each day.  I will watch myself live. Not quite the same as a resolution!  I am not saying that I resolve to do this, but I am saying with a certain amount of passion: this is the way I would like to live—open and awake to God-Showings...even if I don't always like the "showing."  I do want to see the truth.

I want to live my life with greater integrity and for me that means living with my eyes open.  It also means I need to reflect on how, sometimes,  I live with closed eyes.   For the new year I have a sign posted on my bulletin board that says, " Open your eyes and watch yourself live." That's scarier than any resolution I ever made.

This year I plan to spend time praying with the gospels about Jesus healing the blind.  The first gospel I've chosen is Mark 8:22-26.  I chose it because Jesus had to lay his hands on the blind man twice before he could really see clearly.  That is definitely the story of my life.  One time just isn't enough.  I am a slow learner; I have to be taught again and again and again.  The hopeful and helpful thing that I know about myself is that I am willing to be taught.

My motto for the year is: Nothing has to be a problem unless I make it a problem.  
My word for 2014 is  Epiphany.  My word for January is Vision.  Those of you who have my 2014 calendar will notice I have given you one word to pray each month.  For those of you who do not have the calendar I will be posting the new word at the beginning of each month.  We can live it together.

Advent, a good time to go to God

AND GOD SAYS:

“I keep calling to you but you do not come.” 

I couldn't until I was sure there was nowhere else to go.

Florida Scott Maxwell

I totally relate to the quote above.  First of all, let me say this:  turning to God does not necessarily mean that I’ve been away from God.  God surrounds me like the air I breathe.  God is the Source of my life and all life and I can’t really get away from the Mystery of that Amazing Presence.   I can, however, move through my days as though everything depends on me.  I can wear myself out because I forget to remember to breathe.  Well, of course I breathe whether I remember that I am breathing or not but it is so much more enriching when I can truly be in the breathing.  

  

Imagine that you live your life beside a flowing stream; the water is always moving.  The stream provides a kind of natural music for your soul.  The sun rises and sets.  The seasons pass over the flowing stream.  Plants grow. Birds sing and drink and play in the waters.  Only you~~you never seem to come. 

What healing presences are you missing in your life right now simply because you don’t hear them calling to you?  What are you missing because you are rushing around doing important things?  These are good questions.  In some way God is always calling us deeper into the mystery of life, calling us to the Source.   To hear this call we have to stop.  We will not be able to hear the call ‘on the run’ unless we also learn to stop.  To rest!  To be!  To linger!  To dwell!  To enjoy!  To see!  To hear!  To abide!

God is somewhat like that stream and concerning the quote above, perhaps there are times when we don't go to God because we don't know what to say.  Or perhaps there are times when we don’t go to God because we think we don’t have time.    I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Words are the least important part of prayer; we don't need a lot of words to pray.  We just need a lot of presence and mindfulness.

The season of Advent can assist us in remembering that we have nowhere else to go except to the stream of living water.  Let the sunrise of God’s Presence shine on you during this holy season.  Get out your hopeful heart. 

Put your feet in the stream

 of living waters and 

wait for God.  

O Source of all Life, a prayer

O Source of all Life,

as once you looked with compassion

on the weary crowds

who seemed lost and without a shepherd, 

look again upon your people

so desperately in need of renewal. 

Send your spirit to  blow over our dead bones

resurrect in us a surprising new life. 

Blow away negative thoughts,

replace them with hopeful dreams. 

Blow away critical thoughts;

replace them with affirming words.  

Blow away busyness;

replace it with a desire

to take more time

for building a rich interior life.

 Blow away anxiety;

replace it with trust.  

Blow away indifference;

replace it with love.  

O Breath of God,

 transform our unconscious way of living

into a vibrant, enlivening way

of being in this world.

©Macrina Wiederkehr, OSB

In Praise of WONDER

This poem by  Czeslaw Milosz  invites me into the grace of WONDER.  Read it slowly and think of some thing in your past that filled you with wonder.  

Encounter 

We were riding through frozen fields in a wagon at dawn.

A red wing rose in the darkness. 

And suddenly a hare ran across the road.

One of us pointed to it with his hand. 

That was long ago. Today neither of them is alive,

Not the hare, nor the man who made the gesture. 

O my love, where are they, where are they going?

The flash of a hand, streak of movement, rustle of pebbles.

I ask not out of sorrow, but in wonder.

~ Czeslaw Milosz ~

The flower above is one of my memories.  It, too, no longer exists in the way I once beheld it.  It does, however, still exist in my mind, in my memory.  Its visit once filled me with wonder.
 
As we reflect on some of the gifts of the past and the WONDER they brought into our lives we might also reflect on the importance of living mindfully.  There are many people who wouldn't give a 2nd thought to the things that the poet is so lovingly remembering.   Remembering is important.  Mindfulness is important.  We can choose how alive with wonder we are.   Right now, today, make plans to choose wonder.

The gift of a word

For those of you who have been 

keeping up with my WORD FOR A MONTH prayer 

you may think I forgot all about my monthly word.  

Actually I didn't, although it is true

that I have failed to post some of them.  

So how about a little review.

1. January: the word was VESSEL, with emphasis on allowing myself to be poured out for others.
2. February: SIMPLICITY, reminding myself of how clutter oppresses me.  It was an attempt to keep my mind, my heart and my space uncluttered.
3. March: During this month I tired to be grateful and present to the wonder of my HANDS.
4. April: During this month I reflected deeply on the importance of GRIEF in our lives.
5. May: This was the month when I put forth much effort be present and live in the PRESENCE.
6. June:  RESILIENCE, After weathering the storms of the seasons I became aware of how much springing-back power nature has and I wished the same for myself.
7. July: The word, RESILIENCE, didn't want to leave me so I allowed it to stay for the month of July.
8. August, SILENCE entered into my life during this month.  I encouraged it with much enthusiasm.
9. September:  WILD, UNTAMED visited me during September.  I tried to get in touch with those undomesticated parts of my life, my original self.
10. October: As I write this,  leaves are beginning to fall.  I chose the word,  SURRENDER, asking my whole self to let go of what is no longer needed.
11. November will be MINDFULNESS.
12. December, PEACE.

I found it so helpful for my prayer to focus on a word each month for 2013 that I decided to use this idea for my annual 2014 calendar.  Below you will see a composite of the photos I've used for my calendar this year.  Each month I give you a word to pray.  Your word is splashed across the picture for the month and a prayer poem describing the process can be found on the last page of the calendar.  If you would like a calendar check our website or gift-shop.  It should be advertised soon.  www.stscho.org

Think of  a journal that is empty.  The pages are waiting for your words.  Each year is somewhat like that.  The hours, days, weeks, months await your words, your dreams, your actions.  The 2014 year of prayer calendar is offering you 12 words for your pilgrimage through the year.

Write on your heart 

that every day is the best day of the year!

~~Ralph Waldo Emerson~~

Tracking the Mystery

Have I actually been away from this blog for two months! 

 My apologies for staying away so long. 

 I've been tracking the Mystery. 

 Many things have happened while I was away. 

 A ten day silent retreat in Colorado.

A month of re-wilding myself--spending 30 minutes outside each day.
The adventure of trying to live mindfully!

But now I'm sort of back.  Actually I am in transition and this blog will eventually be part of my website which is under construction.  If I had time to fetch an orange barrel to keep in line with all the highway construction going on these days, I would do so but for the moment I will leave that to your imagination.

Getting ready for my Heart of the Hunter retreat 

which is sometimes called Tracking the Mystery.

We are all trackers. We are all hunters!  And the crucial hunt in life is not the hunt for BIG GAME but the hunt for meaning and purpose, for fullness of life, for God.   The tool we have been given to serve us on this life-long hunt is the heart.  During this retreat we will explore the power of the heart and delve into the truth that we are both the hunters and the hunted, for the HOUND OF HEAVEN is tracking us with the most powerful heart of all.   And so, in this hunting season I am remembering the forest again and I  am reminded of how hunters find clearings in the forest where they set up food-traps for their prey. 

On my hunting-retreat I, too, will set up food traps for you.  It will be a holy trick to lure you into the astounding beauty of your own heart’s forest where you might find a little clearing to sit down and wait and perhaps be found by God.  And who knows but you, too, might die because all forms of surrender include a kind of dying. 

Whether you are attending this retreat or not I suggest you prepare yourself for the Hunt.   Find a path in the forest of your life.   Follow the path.  

Find the clearing.  Sit down and wait.  Eat what is provided for you which is nothing more or less than beauty and terror. Allow yourself to be found by God.   There is always a sacred place--a little clearing made ready for you; a place where the light will fall on you if only you arrive, and pause for awhile waiting for transformation.

To be hunted by God is not to die but to fall in love.  

The spears of God’s love slice through your being

 and you are both wounded and healed. — Macrina