Keeping Vigil with the Word of God

It is always exciting when a new book is born especially when the book is yours. My 8th book will have a September birthday. I like that because autumn begins in September and autumn is my favorite season. The portion I am quoting below from my book is from the 4th chapter which is entitled, Don't Look Back. This chapter is on commitment for I have perceived that commitment is difficult for many people. Yet it seems so essential for joyful daily living.

~~a quote and a prayer from ABIDE: Keeping vigil with the Word of God~~

A human person on fire with love for the 'way of Christ' and setting that fire ablaze with action and contemplation is one of my images of commitment.

Jesus,

Your invitation has not been forgotten. There was no RSVP so I have dilly-dallied in my response. I want to be your disciple but I struggle with the cost. All? The cost is all? There are moments when I find such extravagance attractive. My whole-heart leaps for joy at the very thought of this prodigal gift of self. But my half-heart cringes at the thought of having nothing left for it. Perhaps if I could get my half-heart to make friends with my whole-heart the result would be a harmonious friendship that would bless my burning desire to be your disciple. But my half-heart is so cautious and not too keen about the exquisite risk of giving all.

O Unfailing Love, please be patient while I work this out.

--taken from ABIDE: Keeping Vigil with the Word of God

(Macrina Wiederkehr, Liturgical Press--early September release)

Personal Altars

This morning at breakfast a few of us were discussing the value of personal altars in our rooms. Some of us found them important for our prayer; for others they seemed unnecessary. For me they are helpful although I have to guard myself from getting them too cluttered. I frequently change the symbols or icons on my altar to emphasize a new piece of growth that has happened in my life, some insight that has ocurred or something that is trying to get my attention. At this time in my life, God seems to be calling me away from a lot of words. Two of my favorite words are DWELL and ABIDE. These words help me remember my desire to just BE. The Holy One, Source of my Life, is always present and so nothing I place on my altar actually renders God more present. The altar space suggests a sacred presence that is always in my reach. God doesn't need my altar. My altar reminds me that even in the midst of my distractions I am in the presence of the Holy Mystery. This morning I picked up an old tattered copy of my book, Seasons of Your Heart and read a selection that fits with my desire to keep my altar more simple. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"In our search for the holy, there are times when our restless preparations smother the very truth for which we are searching. We decorate our rooms and make elaborate preparations for prayer, when a single flower and a moment of waiting are all we need to meet the One Who Comes. In our restlessness, our futile search sometimes becomes the only god we ever meet."

A moment of waiting! A single flower!

Those words hold special meaning for me as I try to simplfy. Now I sometimes begin my personal prayer with an empty altar. After my time of reflecting on the Scriptures I ask this question, How did God visit me during my hour of prayer? What is Christ asking of me for this week? Then I place on the altar a symbol, word, or picture, --a reminder of what went on in my heart and mind during this time of prayer. I use that as a prompt for the next week. I recall, too, our biblical ancestors who would sometimes pile up stones and pour oil on the stones as a memorial of God's visitations. [Genesis 28:16-19]Call to mind events in your life where God seemed absent; it is never too late to discover presence in what seemed like absence. Perhaps even now you are being invited to cry out with Jacob, Truly, God was in this place all the while and I never knew. I didn't know you were there, until now! Until now! Sometimes a backward glance uncovers a grace we almost missed.

Don't be sad!

I walked out to the Sycamore Tree this morning at dawn. After a few rains this week a bit of green was actually returning to the grass, but for the most part the dry and crumbling leaves on the tree and on the ground looked rather forlorn. I glanced at one of the fallen leaves and I whispered to the whole world, "Don't be sad!" Then I realized I was talking to myself. It happens often when I am trying to dwell in the Mystery! There is much in the world that is lovely. There is much in the world that is lonely! Lovely and Lonely! Right at my fingertips the Mystery lives, and breathes and has its being. I miss what is near because I am reaching for the stars. I reach for that which is not crumbled, and brown and dying. "But don't you see," I say to myself, "Stars are falling all around you." The Mystery wears your name and sees through your eyes, and hears with your ears. I turn again to the world and whisper, "Don't be sad."

Make a Wish

I just celebrated my birthday on July 28. For a long time now it has been my custom to make the 28th of every month a little birthday; when possible the 28th is my day apart--a day of prayer. And so, even my real birthday in July became a day of retreat. After Morning Praise, Eucharist and Breakfast with my community I bowed out for the day and reflected on how I need to be born again. I lit my birthday candle and made a wish. In fact I made lots of wishes. I make my wishes when I light the candle instead of when I blow it out. Throughout the day when I became aware of the burning candle I made another wish. Below is a list of a few of the wishes that I made. The first few wishes are for the whole world; the others are for me. Perhaps you also would like to make a list of birthday wishes. You don't have to wait for your birthday to make a wish.

1. I wish that racism and all forms of prejudice were a thing of the past.



2. I wish each of us would make an effort to see the hidden goodness in all people.



3. I wish we would truly believe that our world doesn't have to be so violent and make little changes in our personal lives to become people of peace.



4. I wish we could eradicate greed from the face of this earth--of course, I have to begin with myself.



5. I wish we would be very careful about judging others, remembering that we are a temple of God and not a courthouse.



6. I wish everyone would see the movie, My name is Khan.



7. I wish I could let go of my expectations of others [especially as to how they ought to perform] and search for ways to affirm them.



8. I wish I was a bit more adept at surrendering my opinions.



9. I wish I would let nothing (not even 2011 summers) prevent me from spending a little time outdoors in the heart of nature each day.



10. I wish I would laugh more.



11. I wish it would rain.



12. And I wish I could be a rain of grace for those I live with and beyond...



13. I wish I could be utterly authentic. (that has always been one of my deep wishes)



14. I wish I had an overdose of poverty of spirit. (another of my deep wishes)

Wishes, in themselves, seem a bit empty. We have to put flesh on the wish through some kind of action. On the other hand, a wish is a seed of potential that I can water with intense desire. I can breathe on it each day and bring it to life. I can pray that the wish become so deeply rooted in me that it becomes a reality. I can call on the child in me and practice making my wishes come true

Finally I wish I could be a bridge

over the troubled waters of people's lives.

"People are lonely

because they build walls

instead of bridges."

Write a letter to one of your bridges,

don't send an e-mail~~write a Letter!

I really wish you would!

Needmore? Needless?

I can hardly believe it has been a month since I wrote on this blog. What do I need to be more faithful? Do I need more time? Do I need more inspiration? Do I need more commitment? Do I need more prayer or silence? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Or, maybe it is something I need less of. Do I need less clutter? Do I need less obssessing? Do I need less taking myself so seriously. Do I need less ADHD? I don't really have the answers to these questions, but a few months ago I had an experience that has drawn me into doing Lectio Divina with roadsigns. I continue to be amazed at how much food for thought shows up right on the path of our daily journys. The -- 'needmore' -- 'needless' -- theme emerged in my life one day when I was packing to go away for a week of writing. As I carried all my loot out to the car I suddenly stopped and began praying with the ordeal--and indeed, it had become an ordeal. I drove away from the monastery a bit frustrated with myself. I was definitely taking too much stuff with me.
Mulling over all this as I drove South on Highway 71 (somewhere between Waldron and Y City) a road-sign caught my attention: Needmore! Automatic laughter rose up in me as I said to God, "I don't needmore! I needless!" I added to my prayer, "O God, help me to want less." Needmore! Needless! Wantmore! Wantless! Definitely material for Lectio. I've been praying about this ever since I saw that roadsign.

Needmore is not a city, a villiage or even a town. It is too small for that yet sometimes small things speak to us. That little place along the way called Needmore has spoken to me. I am sure it has a history. It has become a symbol for my prayer.

A quote from a greeting card I received many years ago still lingers in my storehouse of treasures. I offer it to you for reflection as we all consider whether we need more or less. Perhaps that would be a good journal exercise. Make two columns:

1. Needmore ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2. Needless

If you aren't happy with what you have, how could you be happier with more.

--Grandma Ros

Find yourself a Lectio Roadsign and tell us about it!

Still Listening

You may remember a few posts ago I wrote about my listening tree, the tree with ears that I discovered on our monastery grounds. It became one of my sacred sites and when I could find the time I went there to listen. Sadly, two days after I shared 'my listening tree' with you the storms came with their raging winds and fierce lightning and split my dear tree wide open. I was away from home and one of our Sisters e-mailed me with this dreadful message.

Is it right, I thought, for me to be mourning a tree when people have lost lives and homes? Yes, when you've loved something and named it, it is yours in a special way. All mourning is to be honored.

A friend shared with me this poem by Charles Mungoshi. In a way it a ritual for mourning. A ritual for surrendering and receiving again. It tells me what to do--

WHAT TO DO

Take out all your belongings--

Furniture, clothes, crockery--

All you have since held dear

Take them all out

And return them to the forest.

Now, bring in the sky

The mountains, distant views

Of anything, the rivers, trees,

Boulders; the animals, birds

And insects--

Set them loose in your room.

Now--

Kneel down anywhere

And give thanks.

-Charles Mungoshi

from The Milkman Doesn't Only Deliver Milk

Baobab Books, Harare, 1998

And so I kneel before the remains of my tree giving thanks for everything and I wonder: In spite of its very wounded state, is it still listening.

THE LISTENING TREE

Bringing in the kin

I am reflecting on the photo above as a metaphor for my family. All coming from the same root basically, yet little volunteers sprouting up in the midst -- Connected and at times disconnected. Kindred spirits, unique and beautiful. I just spent a weekend with many of these kindred spirits at our family reunion.

I readily admit that there are times when I dread family reunions. All that noise, everyone talking at the same time (and more) but this time I tried to look at it all as HAPPY NOISE and it was kind of like music. When we were praying together I looked out onto all those faces and thought: Who are these people? Is this really my family? Some of us are democrats, some republicans, some independents! Some conservative, some liberal! Some Catholic, some from other denominations! Some, not needing labels at all.

And then I thought, perhaps it doesn't matter. Hopefully we are connected in ways that are most important. There is a holy Source of Life that brought us into being. In some way, we all try to lean toward. that Source. Our lives are spiritual (whether we recognize it or not) and in our most vulnerable moments we know that. There is a love in our hearts that we can't always reach and we don't fully understand. But it is present and it makes itself known in surpising ways just when it is most needed. There is a depth in the recesses of our souls that we have not yet discovered. We are slowly growing into our best selves. We are here to renew the bond that binds us to one another.

The word reunion suggests a gathering of what has become scattered. It is a bringing in the kin. We have no choice in being related to one another; we do have a choice as to whether we want to remain or become kindred spirits. Our frenetic schedules often make abiding relationships difficult.

And so I look upon this family and I pray:

O Source of Life,

Loving Creator, Jesus, Saving One,

You have lifted us from the womb of the earth

You have blown your breath into us

Enable us to be faithful to this holy breath, your breath

the breath you loaned us on the day of our birth.

Thank you for the family gathered here

Enrich our lives; nurture and sustain us.

Bond us together as kinded spirts.

Keep our ancestors dreams alive in us.

Reveal to us your own dreams for our well-being.

Well-being! What a beautiful word!

That's the gift you can give to this family.

Awaken us to the deep well within our being

Let us be refreshing drinks for one another

and for the larger human family.

O God of our Ancestors, just as you

cherish us, teach us to cherish one another.

Amen! Yes! May it come to pass!